IF YOU CAN NOT GROOM HER, DON'T MARRY HER PART TWO

   In the last article I concluded with the statement "but come to think of it, what if the man who is to groom her, is not even groomed? the effect will be catastrophic"  I will be starting from there today.

 Most men aren't groomed so becoming their Brides groom will be difficult or almost unrealistic. There is a big problem in our society today that we have failed to recognize as a problem and since we didn't see it as one we cannot solve it.

 The male child is sidelined while all the talking and advocacy is about the female child. 

      My brother, Pele Olabanji wrote and I quote "Show not to the children the ancient paths that led to the insanity of their fathers who now roam about the streets naked, leaving them in such an abysmal state. You may open them up to the forces that turned their fathers to lunatics" reflect on that. 
  
      How can we treat the wounds leaving the cause of the wound unattended to? We care for the victim and we refused to care and caution the afflicter. Enough have been said about the situation, let us deal with the cause of the situation too, if our men will become good bridegrooms, then we must train our boys, for it is the egg that becomes the cock.

We rarely see posts on this subject matter, few campaigns have been done about it too. Hardly do we hear about organization established to train and reform Boys and Men, this is really sad. 
  
    

       To think of releasing our carefully raised and trained daughters, sisters, aunties and nieces to poorly groomed or untrained men is the height of foolishness. 
 

 We will continue to repeat patterns and go in cycles until we see the need to train and groom our boys and men. We must see the need to train and care for our boys and men much more than the way we care and train our girls and women because to a certain degree they determine what goes on in the female's world. 
      
      My point is, none should be sidelined because both Male and female's mindsets have been tampered with since the fall of Man so reformation should be for all, if indeed we want to put a lasting solution to the evil done against our world as females.

 I advocate for women and this is why I am looking beyond sentiments. Our lives as women are directly linked to these men and so we must stop and wage war against whatever is making them act unseemly towards us as women because in the beginning it was not so.
    
      Conclusively, I would like to state that ejection or rejection does not change men, empathy and reformation does! When we reject people, we create more enemies but when we look into reforming them, we make them and great relationships are built as a result of this act of love. 
 

I believe no man is born bad and so none should die as one (except they choose to).
    

      Evil is not made in heaven, it is created here on earth. So, now that we know we can do something about it,where do we start from? We start from changing our words which in turns change our perspective about them. All men are not the same, men are not monsters. 
       

That man in your life can change because he isn't born that way. We can change our world, if only we can change our words 

    Pele Oluwakemi 
 #The pen of a ready writer 
#Change advocate #Relationship/Marriage coach